April Fools

For the first time in a long time, I participated in the wonderful tradition of April Fools' Day. I don't espouse hurtful or scary jokes. Instead I prefer things that are funny, outlandish, or disgusting - but that don't hurt any one's feelings or put them at risk for a heart attack. My family has a long history of putting one over on people on the first of April, like the time my mother and I told my grandmother that I had flown over downtown in a helicopter when I was 7 or so. Then there was the time that I told my high school classmates that there was an emu living under our house. Very funny.

Today, Jeff got it all started by scaring the crap out of me at 1 in the morning. Okay, that wasn't supposed to happen, but it did and I couldn't go back to sleep for quite a while. Later in the morning, he called to say that he had undergone emergency surgery at the dentist. I knew he had gone to the dentist and he sounded like half of his face was numb, so I was totally hooked, but the way he was talking made it impossible for me not to laugh. I was thankful in the end that he admitted it was a joke because otherwise I was laughing heartily at my poor, toothless husband. I'm a horrible wife.

This afternoon, I found out that our 80-plus year old neighbor had also played a prank on me. Her grandson knocked on the door and said, "Did someone steal your trashcan?" I looked around the yard and said, "Yes. It looks like someone has stolen our trashcan. Did they get yours, too?" To which he replied, "No. I think my grandmother stole your trash can. Can you come identify it?" Apparently, little Amy had willfully apprehended our trashcan and passed it off as her own. Unfortunately, I hadn't taken the trash out yet, so I didn't get to experience the confusion and realization that we had been robbed, but it was still a good effort.

Now for the real fun. I had to get Jeff back for his earlier April Fools' effort, and it took me quite a while to think of something I thought would work. When I did, I spent the whole day laughing about it, so I'm glad it actually went the way that I had planned. I was playing with Matthew in the living room tonight and Jeff was in the kitchen. When Jeff walked into the room, I noticed a funny smell and assumed that Matthew had pooped in his diaper. So I said, "Matthew, honey, it smells like you need a diaper change." I opened up his diaper to check for poop and there was, indeed, a long chord of darkness. Just to make sure it was really poop, I picked it up and took a bite -at which point I collapsed into giggles as Jeff's face registered complete disgust and disbelief. I took him a few seconds to figure out that I had placed a piece of beef jerky just inside Matthew's diaper before he walked in!