While I was washing the dishes tonight, I suddenly had the urge to write down things about myself in case I die before Matthew gets to know me. The following list is a collection of 10 things I would want him to know. Now I understand why Randy Pausch wrote his
Last Lecture. What a horrible gift it must have been for him to have knowledge of his own death before it occured. I don't know when I'll die, but I hope Matthew reads this list and sees some of himself in it, too.
TEN THINGS ABOUT YOUR MOTHER
1. I love wee things. Anything smaller than it's original size facinates me. It's too bad I never got into doll houses, because I think I would have dug them. As it is, our linen closet is usually overflowing with travel size toiletries from drugstores and hotels throughout the world.
2. I work like an ox. I once moved boulders from underneath our house to terrace the backyard. I get it from my mother, who is one of a long line of strong, hardworking women.
3. I married your father because he makes me laugh all the time. He does things just to make me laugh, like the time he put my black leather boots on you and walked you into the room singing the old song, "These Boots are made for Walking" Sometimes he makes me laugh even when he's not trying, like the time he kept trying to cross both eyes but could only do one. I laughed to hard I nearly threw up. I'm still laughing about it.
4. I read a lot of books, mostly historical fiction. A compelling story appropriately set in history can tell you more about what was going on during that time than most texts. I especially like to read lots of books about the same time and place to get a better feel for the complexities of that moment in time.
5. I also love things that hold things. I am most pleased when something has a space or holder that fits it perfectly, like a lipstick case or tool crib. But I also like purses and cubbies and baskets...
6. I can be quick to anger, especially when it comes to sexism. If I bring a jar that I can't open to your father and ask him to help me, he just looks at me and says flatly, "Of course you need a man to help you, Sarah. You couldn't possibly open that jar by yourself." Even though I know he's lying, I get just angry enough to open the jar. I think the anger is left over from some not-so-nice things that a couple of men did to me when I was a younger woman. It goes to show you that the things you do - good and bad - to other people stay with them a long time. So do good when you can.
7. I can juggle.
8. I am a Democrat. I would like to say that I am a liberal and I'll vote for whoever best encompasses my political beliefs, but the reality of our time is that there are really only two political parties and I'm for the one on the left. I believe in the fair wages for all workers, keeping religious teachings out of schools, and in protecting our environment. I learned almost everything I know about politics from my father, who dedicated his life to the cause of working people around the world.
9. I rearrange things all the time. Your father says my super-hero name would be
The Rearranger. Every now and then I'll hear him exclaim, "The Rearranger has struck again!" before asking me where something is. I do it in the name of efficiency, but it costs everyone else in the house a lot more time.
10. The transition to motherhood wasn't an easy one for me, and I still struggle sometimes with the tough questions that parents face. But there has never been a job I loved more, or a little boy who made his mother happier.
What I've forgotten to say in the chaos that was the weeks after Matthew's birthday is that we had a wonderful time before his birthday. His Grandma and Grandpa were here for a week and we had a great time. They stayed in Waikiki so we got to take advantage of their hotel pool and grounds. It was so nice for them to get to know Matthew, I think. He really loved all the attention!
I just love this picture below because it captures what is so nice about this age. Matthew is holding Jeff's hand while sitting in the pool. Water isn't our little boy's favorite thing, so he likes to be close to us when he's in it. I love the peace and comfort of Matthew and Jeff holding hands amid the craziness of the rest of the people in the pool.
I've always loved the view from Matthew's room. When he was very young and we spent many, many hours nursing, I would marvel at the beauty I could see from his small window. The trade winds blow almost constantly, bouncing the bright green palm trees just enough to give glimpses of the teal mountains on the other side of the valley. Even when things were at their worst, I found so much peace in watching those palm trees sway.
Now that Matthew can walk, he's moved on to reading. He's very smart. He especially loves Goodnight Gorilla because pretty much the only words in it are goodnight and gorilla. He also likes to read the name-plate that his Aunt Sina painted just for him. All of the words these days come out as "ba" or "da", but I know that he understands. Especially when that little gorilla sneaks right back in to the zoo keepers bed! That part cracks us up.
