Merry Christmas & Happy New Year!

Wow. I truly can't believe that I haven't posted anything since Halloween. I should probably just give this blogging thing up. But I've already got that cool header, so I guess I'll just keep chugging along until I get more inspired. These days, I'm inspired by things like the Colbert Report, learning to make my own bread (Thanks for the book, Susan!), and the joy of putting on my new roller skates (that's right, old school, non-inline, 80's style) and pushing the boys in the stroller while I rock out to some tunes that take me back.
Of course, my greatest inspiration are the beautiful boys I get to marvel at and squeeze on a daily basis. I can't get enough of them these days, though I'm looking forward to a little downtime when school starts up again tomorrow. Now that Buzz is able to make a mess (he's particularly fond of the utensil drawer) I can't keep up with the housework. I should have asked for a one-time made service for Christmas instead of skates.

We've had some unseasonably cold weather this year, three stints of overnight freezing temperatures. It's no good for farmers, but it's fine with me because I can still remember the brutally hot summer (read: 6 months of the year) we had this year and I'm in no mood to rush back to it. One of the nice things about the cold is that the maple tree out front actually changed color. For the week of Christmas it was the most magnificent shade of red. The boys played "Merry Christmas" which consisted of throwing red leaves in the air (or at one another) and screaming, you guessed it, Merry Christmas!

My favorite part of this holiday season was the fireplace. We didn't use it at all last year because we weren't sure how the thing worked. Turns out it's just an opening with a tall chimney that we can build fires in. We have made one mistake the day I started a fire when it wasn't very cold out. Good news: I don't have to buy any of those holiday candles in "campfire" scent. I've been scouring the neighborhood for kindling, and I often come home from a walk with an armload. But Jeff chides me for taking peoples wood. I say, if it's in the sidewalk, it's mine.

On Christmas morning, the boys waited patiently while the grown-ups made coffee and situated themselves around the room before tearing into presents. Since Nana and Peter were with us, the boys cleaned up. I think Jeff and I got them one or two things but my mother just showered them with gifts. And that was after I made her put some of the things away to save for Easter baskets. They are very lucky boys, indeed. Buzz's favorite was his little people airplane. I especially like this picture because I have one almost exactly like it of Matthew two years ago.

Matthew had matured quite a lot in the past two months and it showed this Christmas. He's a delight to be around, funny and charming. His eloquence is hard to imagine, and there are days that I find it hard to believe that he's not yet three and a half. This year, he got a cash register which he loves to play "selling" with and two little aquatic frogs who live in a cube in his room. He is so interested in living things, how they think and move and eat. He's a sweet boy and I'm just so thankful that I get to watch him grow up.

Nana gave the boys playdoh tools for Christmas and no two boys have ever been happier. They have a daily playdoh date at the kitchen counter. Matthew especially likes to make different shapes and "take off the scraps like my Peter told me to do". Then he'll hold up a beautiful jewel or triangle. He also likes to mix the colors together to see what new color they'll make. I'll give you a hint: it's always brown. Buzz gets in on the fun, too, by cutting the playdoh into small pieces and then throwing them on the floor. Fun for all.

This was, of course, my first Christmas without my father and I felt his absence. Many people sent cards and small gifts to remind me of him and how much they miss him and care about me. I appreciated those gifts very much. In fact, someone sent us the yummiest popcorn tin, but there wasn't a name on the tag, so I don't know who to thank. (If it's you, thank you! We all loved it!) My Aunt Rose sent me a silver bell with my father's name as part of a ritual bell-ringing she does at the holidays. I especially cherish it because I have collected matching bells for every Christmas Jeff and I have spent together. So our tree this year had 9 gleaming silver bells.
But I had promised myself that I would have my whole family together this year. Last year, I selfishly did not insist that my dad join us and he did not protest. Later I found out that my decision had hurt his feelings and I vowed to make it right this year. I didn't get that chance, and it's one of the only things I truly wish I could redo in our relationship. I would have given up this year's relaxed ease for a chaotic family showdown if it meant my father would know how much I loved him. I know he already knew that, but there's nothing like seeing your grandchildren's faces on Christmas day and hear their joyous voices. And, I guess, he got to do that this year, too, just in a different way.

On New Year's Eve, we went to the zoo with another family. And while we were looking for them I saw through a crowd, a la the movies, one of my roommates from my first year in college. She lives in Louisville, Kentucky and there was absolutely no reason that we should have seen one another in the Tampa zoo. But there we were, hugging and laughing and I-can't-believe-it's-you-ing surrounded by giraffes and camels. Like us, she has two young boys and was in town with her family to visit her husband's alma mater. We only got to spend a couple of hours together, but the very experience made me think that you just never know what life's got in store. And just when you think it's boring and predictable, it turns right around and fills you with wonder.